Remix

I played a song for my Creative Writing class today as has become our daily ritual. My students enjoy starting class this way and I think it awakens their creative thoughts. They come to class excited about their turn to share their song or spoken word performance and shout their requests in the hallway before class. We’ve covered the gamut by listening to everything from techno and freestyle piano to acid rock and Indie pop.

Seeing my students enjoy today’s popular music invokes a sense of nostalgia in me, some of them are listening to the same songs I did when I was in high school, because many of them are remixed versions of familiar songs. I've educated them about the songs' riffs they like by playing the original songs. We’ve heard some Depeche Mode and even found The The. I also loved classic rock—which now some teens may call ancient rock. I get to enjoy the classics again because new artists are producing music and remixing old songs unbeknownst to teens today. They thing everything they listen to is fresh. They think they know what they see. But, so did I as a teenager, nothing could be gained from listening to an adult as I already knew way more than they did. Don’t even talk to my teenage self about God. Please. As if I needed another lecture about religion. Granted, I know my audience and I also knew the risky realm I was broaching today. My students have labeled me as a hipster—which is laughable—but I play along with it because it gives me the street cred I need to reach them.

Today I thought I could try playing a Christian song. I knew I’d be walking a thin line playing anything from this genre. But the song I had in mind is different. It doesn’t outwardly scream Christian song. And it was ironic when I found this CD in my glovebox buried between my car manual and a Color Wonder book. Ironic also because I haven’t listened to this CD since we bought the minivan (that symbol that means my life will now be boring) and had our second child. I started listening to this CD at a period of awakening for me and now I hoped to use it to awaken the spirit in my students. In particular the message of Nichole Nordeman’s “Hold On” were exactly the words one of my students desperately needed to hear now.

I printed the lyrics and gave them to *Lexie before I played the song. I wanted her to see the message within. She listened intently and about halfway through the song she said, “Is this God?”

I knew if I confirmed that verbally she would shut down so I redirected and said, “If you want it to be yes. If not, it is love.”

She replied, “Okay, good because I don’t like God. I like love though.”

And I replied, “Of course, who doesn’t like love?”

Her words may not appear to be profound, but for Lexie they are. She hasn’t felt emotions for awhile—let alone admit that she wants or needs love. She’s polluted them by pumping heroine in her veins. She’s run from them by living on the streets of Baltimore for two years. She’s convinced herself she doesn’t feel anything anymore. But the truth is that she feels too much and she believed the drugs helped her cope. She doesn’t want to feel anything now in the present because she’ll have to remember selling her body for her next high. She’ll have to see the face of the man twice her age who used and abused her and made her believe he loved her. Lexie has much to sort out.

Not that I wanted to manipulate Lexie as so many have done in her past. I wanted to let her hear what she needed to hear today. That she is loved and that love “. . .will find you at the bottom of a bottle. It will find you at the needle’s edge. . .

So hold on

Love will find you

Hold on

He’s right behind you

Just turn around

And love will find you.”

--Nichole Nordeman, Hold On.

Hold On performed by Nichole Nordeman

Did I lie to Lexie? Or did I just tell her what so many youth, and frankly so many adults, need to hear and know about God?

God is love. But if you can’t handle God yet then just, Love. We will talk about Love. If someone needs to start their journey there to get to the message of God’s love for them, then so be it. Some are so demoralized about organized religion that they run to the streets, to the bottle or to the needle to face anything other than their own pain and the real remedy that can heal them. Maybe the message our youth need to hear from God is a remix. I needs to be a more pleasing sound to their ears that won’t make them run into the streets to drown out their feelings of inadequacy. Maybe they need to see God remixed in their lives, as it will help them maintain their own street cred in the midst of their lives. Then when they are ready, I pray that someone can reach a hand out to them and tell them the truth, God’s truth, that awaits for them.

*Lexie: name changed to protect identity.